Wednesday, September 8, 2010


wow, i suck at photoshop. Next time I'll try my hand at MS Paint instead.

ITT: You request it, I draw it

anything, anything at all! I'll draw it for you

Face vs. Watermelon

Bitch got pwned!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Delicious Egg McMuffins

The Mexican Maid

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'
Maria: 'Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wan an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Maria: 'Jor husband say so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'
Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
Maria: 'Jor husband did.' Wife: 'Oh.'
Maria: 'The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in bed.'
Wife: (really furious now) 'Did my husband say that as well?'
Maria: 'No Señora... the gardener did.'
Wife: 'So how much do you want?'

Monday, September 6, 2010

No sex since 1955

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?” “Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.” The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.” “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.” The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself.” The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?” “1955, ma’am.” “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.” The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”

Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Expendables Movie Review

The Expendables (2010) - Directed by Sylvester Stallone

As far as testosterone-fueled, ass-kicking gore fests go, this movie does pretty well for itself. It's major draw comes from it's all-star cast of action movie heroes... it's even got a cameo by one austrian-born California governor, which was a pretty cool surprise to see. Despite being one of the better blockbuster popcorn flicks of the year, I still think this movie falls short on many measures of good filmmaking.

I feel like Stallone tried way too hard to show off his machismo... not only in his own egotistical way, playing the main character, the one who is also the leader of the gang of mercenaries who kills the most bad dudes, and gets the beautiful girl in the end, but this hulk like attitude shows throughout the entire movie. Between riding around on big, loud motorcycles, to tattoo parlors and mass murder and huge explosions, you really can't escape the feeling that you are in a thirteen year old boy's fantasy.

This is some bomb ass soup!

I want that last panel as a desktop wallpaper

Hello world!

hurp durp, I'm just a guy sharing some cool and funny things from around the net. Hope you enjoy my blog, and while you're at it enjoy this picture of chubby bubbles girl: